The scratch on your belly and a bite on my arm.

6.20.2013

There are posts out there providing ways on “how to keep the relationship stronger”, “how to stay on a relationship” and other “how to’s” on keeping the spark with the one we have chosen to be with. Nevertheless, all those advice seems too easy to follow, yet in reality, it’s really hard to keep up a relationship whether it’s week old one or five and more years.

For someone who’s been single for quite sometimes, I told myself that once I found the one who I want to be my “other half”, I will do my best to keep what we have last almost forever. Every relationship have its boo-boos and unfortunate turn of unexpected events. No matter what Dalai Lama or a shrink says, there are things that only a couple can work with and fix.

For one, we have our differences. No matter how much we love watching the same television show, eating the same food or exploring different places, I still find differences that might make or break our relationship. There will be small or petty arguments that can bore us out and tell each other “we keep on having the same kind of shizzle every single time!” Surprisingly, these kind of things can really make a couple cut the strings. From what I believe in, these differences can only be fixed by what I call “acceptance”. There will be no medical definition for that or anything deep scientific meaning attached to that word, because I have learned that I need to accept the fact, that there are little things that might break us, and that there are some things we cannot agreed upon. Acceptance is ALWAYS the key.

Then after acceptance, I learned that I should not try to fix our differences! Seriously, I cannot ALWAYS tell my partner to do this or not to do that. Say it once, then he should understand and accept wholeheartedly what are the things that pisses me off, and that goes the same towards me. We change on their own pace and capabilities. This don’t happen overnight, but I trust my partner enough that he will change and it manifests in some matters, like by simply helping me washing the dishes without telling him to do it. I learned that I should never get tired of telling them what hurts me because at times, they might become forgetful and needs to be reminded of. Our differences at times keeps us together because it gives us each other a different perspective on each other’s beliefs and idea. However for some relationship, this could be really tricky. Emotional and physical abuse is a different story. One who is used in hurting someone can make it a habit and this is a habit that is hard to get rid off. Remember: Bruise rhymes with Abuse.

Respect is the result of acceptance and not trying to fix it asap. Respect the fact that people will not always lead my way, so does my guy. There are wonders in what respect can do in a relationship. Respect that to the point that I know I should never hit his ego in public. Respect that I know his weakness and help him through it, and respect that he knows how show patience during my red days. With respect, we learned how to say “sorry”. Since we respect each other, we can say in each other’s face “it’s my fault” and give each other time to breathe to forgive. Respect is my teacher in saying what I want to say, how I say it and when I should say it.

Lastly, trust. If you respect your master, you’ll trust them. If you respect your friend, you trust them. I think that goes the same in our relationship. We have enough trust with each other that we even know how to give space and not invade their “private” life. I may “own” him, but I trust him enough to have him keep his own email and other social media accounts passwords and not ask for it. He trusts me enough that even if I work with guys at the office, at the end of the day, I am still eager to be at his arms. There will always be girls prettier than me and guys more hunk than him, but we always go back to the reason why we chose to be with each other the first time we met.

We’ve only been together for 2 years and there are bumps and tears along the way. There are more of it to expect but still hoping for the best. There are no special recipe for successful relationships. Yet the simple things we have makes us value each other every single day, even if we fight like cats and dogs. I know love will always spark if we never get tired of trusting, respecting and accepting each other as who we are.

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On Common Manners

If I’m going to start a business and sell “Common Manners” in the market, I’ll either be in the brink of “debt of death” or, I could be a millionaire and beat Lucio Tan in the bun!

For what ever reason, in this generation where advance technology is the steering wheel of every nation to progress, fashion is reachable to people, information is easily attained and talk is cheap, a lot of people are missing out one thing – to have common manners. Continue reading

Influence @ Influenster

I was going through my daily task…updating my Instagram account, when something caught my attention: a friend’s picture with a box of seemingly ordinary stash of goodies in a box. I am used in seeing pictures like that in Instgram; people will post whatever new stuff they have, what they had for dinner, lunch or breakfast, or other things expensive or not. What tickled my fancy was the tag #Influenster. I was like… “what the fish is this?? another social media site??” So at times like that, I did nothing but click the hash-tag, browse through their Instagram account, and there, I got my first introduction on what’s the new trend that has 5000 plus followers on it.

InfluensterSite

Continue reading

A new year’s pseudo resolutions list

I am never a fan of coming up with a new year’s resolutions list, after getting disappointed in the past few years since a handful of my list are merely accomplished. For example, I will come up with 10 list of “must do” for a certain year, and let’s say 3 and a half of those are being done. Only 3 and the other half was something I “incidentally” done, which made it to the “It’s fine” list, instead of in the “Good Job” bracket.

However, 2012 gave me something to look forward to this year…a pseudo new year’s resolutions list. I treat it as tricking myself to accomplish things one at a time, for me to reach my main goal. Often times, I write something like “I want to pay my debt” or “I want to travel”, yet only one is being done because I realized, I am the kind of person who needs to break things down to get the business done. So instead of writing everything down on a piece of paper, I utilize my planner well by coming up with daily tasks that will eventually lead me to reaching what I really want to do.

For example, if I say “I want to learn how to cook”, on the first day of the year I have the task to buy a cooking book and read through it…and IT’S A MUST. Then day after that, if I realized that I really want to accomplish learning how to cook, then it’s also going to be my priority to go to the market and buy ingredients to cook. The key thing about my technique is, everything is written down on a paper that will serve as a self agreement that I need to act up on. At the same time, I don’t want to make myself feel pressured about going through the process of checking my resolutions’ list. I treat it as an ice breaker from something I usually do like office stuff, and what more important is, I’ll know for myself if what I am doing is something that I really want to commit in accomplishing and if it makes me really happy.

It’s my yearly goal to finish the list of books I would like to read before I die. So instead of buying every book in my list and ended up reading everything in my death bed, I started buying a book one at a time. Once I finished one book, I treat it as another adventure to hunt down the next author in my list. This will make me get my brown ass up, and search for the book I am craving for, than just picking it up on my shelf. I started that way, and I must say, I’m down with one book for this year…and it’s only the first Friday of 2013. I just need to stick with the process, till I make it a habit. So instead of coming up a list on what I want to accomplish this year, I am more eager to write down things I will be able to, I am about to and was able to accomplished this year. This will be my way to make sure I have reached something, without disappointing myself. Good luck to me..hehehe

OplanSulat